The journey through the vault continues, as PWP’s Randy Reaume covers the October 2nd, 1995 edition of Monday Night RAW.
This week on RAW, we get two rematches for played out feuds that started two years ago. Great! We start out with a little video package showing the Smoking Gunns winning the titles last week and the entrances for Kid vs. Razor.
RAZOR RAMON vs. 1-2-3 KID
We get some replays from the apparently surprisingly good match between Bret Hart and Jerry Lawler Lackey #5, and yet more replays of Razor vs. Dean. Man, that ending was stupid, and really did nothing but cement Kid’s idiocy. The match starts with Razor throwing Kid over the top rope to the outside, and Jerry Lawler pretty much spoils the upcoming heel turn by telling us he saw Kid talking with DiBiase backstage. I mean, sure, it’s heel King, so you can’t really take anything he says seriously, but there’s not really a reason for him to lie about this besides to annoy Razor I guess.
Kid hits some kicks and we see Dean Douglas interfere in the curtain jerker for the second week in a row. I’d assume this time it actually leads to something, but that might be giving Vince too much credit. Kid hits “what a maneuver” (an iffy looking dropkick) and misses a running nothing. Razor hits a clothesline and…gets the victory? Uhh…what? Was that supposed to happen? Kid slaps Razor after the bell, gets beat down and…apparently this is a match again? What in the hell is going on here?
Razor locks in an abdominal stretch, smacks Kid around a little bit and gets full-hand slapped right to the chops. Why is this match still happening? I mean, there was a cover…are you allowed to do this now? Apparently, during the commercial break, there was ANOTHER PINFALL. And the match is still going on anyway. I just…I couldn’t even pretend to tell you what the christ is happening here. Are you allowed to do this? If you lose a title match can you just keep fighting endlessly until you win? Razor goes for the Razor’s Edge and decides to do a small package instead, which gets him the three count. Did I just watch that or was that some sort of fever dream? Kid and Razor shake hands, Kid tries for a rollup and…the ref starts to count it?
Okay, guys, it’s not like this is a 24/7 Hardcore Title match. That’s not how it works. Kid opens himself up for a Razor’s Edge, which Razor refuses. We get a handshake because apparently Kid being a bitch warrants Razor’s respect. Haha…oh man. That was something. We get a replay of Barry Horowitz winning at SummerSlam and of last week’s main event. What’s with all the replays tonight?
HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY vs. BARRY HOROWITZ
For some reason, the WWF is conducting a poll on the hotline asking whether O.J. Simpson is guilty or not. Uh…okay. In the meanwhile, Triple H (back when he was a fake British guy) while Vince and Lawler squabble about OJ. Hunter hits what I can only assume was a botched Cross Armbreaker, gutwrenches Horowitz into the floor and sells a reversal like he just got shot. Ah, good old Trips. A few incredibly stiff European uppercuts in the corner lead to a VINTAGE Triple H knee drop and a massively delayed suplex. Vince gets really mad at Lawler for some reason, Horowitz gets a two count on a Sunset Flip and this match continues to plod.
Yeah, I don’t know what the hell the point of this is. I don’t think people will be too impressed by Hunter beating a guy who hadn’t won a match in 5 years before SummerSlam. Meanwhile, Horowitz headbutts HHH in the balls and locks in a backslide for the two count, followed by a BULL HAMMER! and a stupid looking Lou Thesz press. A weird abdominal stretch rollup and some more stiff Euros leads…almost directly into the Pedigree for the win. Wow, that came out of nowhere. This match was pretty much useless. It’s impossible to get over by beating Barry Horowitz at this point.
PG-13 vs. JOBBERS
Okay, so apparently PG-13, the USWA Tag Team Champions, are here to challenge the Smoking Gunns for the tag titles. This being a jobber match, there’s not much to call, so I’m just going to pretend this never happened. They eventually win with their finisher, because of course they do. Man, ain’t that a throwback to the dark ages of 1993 where every match on RAW was a jobber match.
We get some pointless recaps for Bret vs. LaFitte and a promo package for Camp Cornette vs. Shawn, Diesel and Undertaker next week. Doc Hendrix is here to shill another less horrendously ugly t-shirt, this one being an exclusive Bret Hart shirt that looks pretty decent. For some reason, we get the Goldberg walking backstage entrance for Bret.
BRET HART vs. JEAN-PIERRE LAFITTE
Of course, since Lawler and Bret are feuding, the commentary has turned from fairly inoffensive to ungodly obnoxious. We get a replay of SummerSlam 1992 for whatever reason and about a million commercial breaks. LaFitte starts out the match with some stupid looking strikes and smashes Bret into the turnbuckle. I don’t know why that happens in every Bret Hart match but it’s pretty ridiculous. Surprisingly, LaFitte actually hits the elbow that everyone always misses and immediately locks in a rest hold. We get a camera pan to Lawler mugging at ringside and some more uninspired offense. Bret dodges a running nothing onto the turnbuckle and slams LaFitte onto the steel steps, which actually looked incredibly nasty.
A flying clothesline from the second rope leads to some more stupid looking strikes, this time from Bret. LaFitte counters another running nothing by throwing Bret face-first into the top rope, mooks to the crowd and locks in a rest hold. Bret finally breaks out of it but just immediately runs into a weird hiptoss clothesline combination. LaFitte goes to the top, hits a useless splash for the two count and smashes Bret’s throat into the second rope. He also hits some more stupid looking strikes, which according to Lawler is because he told him to hit Bret “once for him and once for me”. That’s…completely pointless, but okay. Why didn’t you just make a handicap match if you apparently have the power to make these matches, Lawler? I mean, you might as well at this point. I think the implication is that Lawler is a complete coward who doesn’t want to get within 50 miles of Bret but that doesn’t make for a very good feud.
LaFitte hits a side slam on Bret to set up the Cannonball, which misses. Of course, it doesn’t matter, because he immediately reverses an Irish whip into the steps anyway. Good god, can Bret get some offense? Face in peril isn’t interesting in tag matches, why did you think it would be interesting here? Finally, Bret knees LaFitte in the balls and hits a Russian legsweep for the two count. He starts his comeback but in the slowest way possible so it doesn’t effect the momentum in any way whatsoever, especially since LaFitte immediately catches him and hits him with a green bay plunge. He goes for the cannonball, but gets crotched, superplexed and locked into the sharpshooter for the win. It seems like this was just a poor man’s copy of their PPV match, which is pretty disappointing considering everything. I feel like we’re regressing here. Hell, they even had the stupid mid-show jobber match.
Bret mooks at Lawler on the outside and knocks him over the barricade. Isaac D. Yankem makes the save and DDTs Bret into the concrete. Wow…we’re really still doing this, huh? Apparently, this set up a cage match between Bret and Yankem in a few weeks on RAW. So yeah, this feud still isn’t ending. They had the perfect excuse and they’re still not doing it.
We get promos from Camp Cornette and Diesel/Shawn/Taker to promote the 6 man tag match for next week to end the show.